Memoirs of a Decently Modest and Awesome Person

All touchin' my jazz hose...

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 06:56:05 GMT

Long time no see! Which is probably the beginning of my last forty entries or so. Ah well. Maybe I'll keep up with this after this one? Most likely not, though I wish I would.

The new Weezer album is...good? I like it. I don't think it'll hold up to the debut, but it's at least as good as Green was I think. Good with a few spotty moments and a few standout moments of greatness. I didn't think they had it in them. I was expecting another Make Believe. I'm pretty excited for the tour, even though they're boring as hell live it seems. Just getting to hear El Scorcho live sounds like a party to me though.

Summer is treating me pretty great. The sloth I am now capable of is amazing. Going to bed at four or five, waking up at one or two. It's like being fifteen again! For me, at least. I doubt any of you had a fifteen like that. I was one lazy mofo. Dayummm. I managed to escape the semester with a 4.0, which is nice I guess. Community college though, go figure. Majoring in music, just did basics last semester though. Government, Math, English and History. Taking the next step up of each respectively plus Music Theory, Ear Training/Sight Singing, Individual Guitar, and Class Voice. I'm pretty excited about all of those. I already know whatever I'm gonna learn in Music Theory I, so it'll be a breeze anyways. Class doesn't resume until August, so I have no idea how I'm gonna fill up the rest of the semester. It is boring, but it's a wonderful boring.

I wouldn't mind too much if I could just be lazy the rest of my life. That'd be nice.

Speaking of lazy, I am no longer employed at Kroger! I dunno if I ever updated that or not. I'm bummin' it and it feels pretty good. The house is no longer just myself, which is a mixed blessing. It's nice having some other people, but never having to wonder where all the Doritos went is sweet.

Alot of graduations. Glad they're over. Fun parties and stuff, but dayum people, try to spread it out a little. Every person I know graduated this year it seems.

I'm super hungry, so it's really hard to type about anything that doesn't involve DELICIOUS MEATS AND SPICES. Freudian slipping all over the place.

Twenty pages left in Lolita. I was supposed to return it to the library a few days ago, but I'm a criminal. I read Vonnegut's Hocus Pocus right before that, which I thought was pretty damn good. I got through that in like, four days. Not so much for Lolita. That has been a month and a half or so. Nabakov's prose is incredibly entertaining, but all the word-play is pretty hard to follow when one does most of their reading at 2:00 in the morning.

Now that my parents have moved back in, I have to relinquish the living room. I was using it to hold all my instruments and stuff, but it was pretty cramped. We moved all of that sort of stuff into another room, which fits it much nicer. Kind of cozy, but no more than the living room was with the furniture and such. Did I ever say that I got a drum kit? Big ass thing. 9-Pieces, plus the two cymbals, the ride and the hi-hat and snare. DOUBLE BASSS-UHHHH! I'm not sure if I'll ever have any desire to play music that uses double bass, but if I do, it's down there waiting for me. I bought it used for $600, which I'm pretty happy with. It sounds good, feels good, only one or two minor problems that wouldn't be hard to fix.

I've got the Nintendo 64 out. Michael and I have been playing Ocarina of Time. We're at the end now. Going around and finishing off all the side-quests before we fight Ganondorf, getting all of the Golden Skulltulas and stuff. It's a really good time. I already have Majora's Mask, but no super-fancy N64 enhancement chip thing that you have to get to play it. I'll order one on ebay for a quarter or something.

I'm broke now that I've bought a bass and another guitar besides the drums. But it feels good. I just wish I had $200 extra for a bass amp or something. I suck on it, can't be inspired to practice if I can't hear it. It feels pretty easy though, as far as I can tell. It's a cheap replica of an old Paul McCartney-style Violin-Bass. So that's pretty cool. Not gonna be too thumpy when it gets plugged in, I reckon.

This new Weezer song has a part straight out of The World Has Turned and Left Me here. I wonder if that's intentional or just some weird coincidence...

I saw Elvis Costello open for The Police a few days ago. The Police seemed tired and old, though I enjoyed it. It was kinda like watching Sting with backup band THE POLICE. They turned nearly every song into an extended jam thing, which is not their strong-suite. I was much more pleased with Costello's performance, predictably. His guitar work is really great. It's noisy and abrasive and loud and awful. He still has it, I say.

My mother had another child. The makes four children. It was a girl, making the grand total of siblings three sisters. She's a gorgeous baby. Gotta complain about the noise though. I'm told this is because she has colic (sp?) which is a newborn baby ailment that leaves her with constant gas. Sweet kid though. As soon as the gas settles, I'm sure she'll be great.

Gonna go find some heart pieces or skulltulas or something. Or maybe some food first. Yeah.

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 07:00:47 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn-FEu23isc

It's nice to meet you.

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 02:57:25 GMT

Worked an eight hour shift today. Three of them ridiculously difficult. The others boring. Praise Jebus, I only have one other eight hour shift to deal with this week and its on Thursday which is nice and slow. I'd much rather be bored than busy, I'm afraid. I'm lazy.

Last time I went up to Austin I stopped by Waterloo Records and picked up Either/Or on vinyl. Its life changing, though I like Figure 8 most. I wish they had it. Well, I'm going back up this weekend for Austin City Limits. Maybe I'll drop by again and maybe they'll have it now. If not, I can pick up Abbey Road at least. I felt kind of like a douche for picking Either/Or over Abbey Road, the former being a recent favorite and the latter an all-time favorite. But what can I say? They'd get pretty even play in retrospect.

My job is mostly a rewarding experience. I've got $400 in my wallet I'm dropping off at the bank tomorrow. When I started the job I told myself I'd just save all of it until I reached $1,000. After that, blow everything I make for a few months. I'll pretty much be there now, so its time for the party to begin. Unfortunately, the only thing I can think to spend my money on is a nice pair of bowling shoes. And that only blows a good $15 or so. God bless you, Ebay. I know there's various instrument related things I could do with the money. If this planned band with Joe and Jake gets going I'll get my piano tuned.

The band, or more properly, the idea of the band, is Myself, Jake, Michael, Joe, Micah and Bobby. Guitar, drums, guitar, vocals, guitar and bass respectively. That's alot of guitars. No earthly idea what we'd sound like together, honestly. Hopefully good.

I'm very bored tonight. I don't have to work until five PM tomorrow, so I should definitely go out and do something in a bit. A just got out of the bath and sitting naked in my chair feels too good.

I'm climbing roofs (rooves? No, certainly not) all over the place. Churches, schools, abandoned nursing homes...None of them are safe from being scaled! Its a pretty thrilling hobby. I can climb like a crazy spider monkey, so its not too hard most of the time, though when its a little too difficult to do without exerting all of one's energy is when its most fun.

Austin City Limits looks to be a blast. I'll finally get to see Bob Dylan after all these years! Though I've come to realize its going to be a pretty boring and soulless affair, it'll still be nice to see the man. Muse, The White Stripes, Bob Dylan, The Killers, Queens of the Stone Age, Damien Rice, The Decemberists, Spoon, Regina Spektor, Ben Kweller, one or two others...It should be fun. The really shitty part is Bob Dylan and Elvis Costello are on a tour together and only Bobbo is going to be at ACL. Maybe I'll be surprised. Oh God please.

Time to get dressed and go out.

Just save a piece for me

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 06:04:13 GMT

I have the internet again! Glory and hallelujah! Its been months since I've sat here naked in my computer chair! A lot has happened! A whole lot! I live alone! I work at Kroger in the Produce! I guess that's all in my relatively unexciting yet entirely satisfactory life!

My parents moved to Katy. Which is about an hour away. They're going to sell the house I'm currently living in eventually, but for now I have a nice big bachelor pad with which to partayyy all the time in. Though given my mostly quiet nature partying is, well, what I'm doing now. Nudity.

Michael and I have recently taken to climbing buildings in the wee hours of the morning for entertainment. Its a really satisfying hobby. Find somewhere nice and high and the view is incredible. I'm thinking of taking my MP3 player out to the top of the nearest church and watching the traffic. Maybe bring a reading light and a book...

I'm about half way through In Cold Blood now. It's a Capote book, but I imagine whoever's reading knew that. Its really, really, really good. Detailed down to the tiniest...uh...detail. I wouldn't have thought that would be so entertaining, but its just absolutely captivating. When I pick it up, its nearly impossible to put back down. I need to re-watch Capote after I finish it.

I also have a cat now. Her name is Catamari, which is a bad pun. She spends all her time sprinting around the house, trying to climb the walls using only her claws. It never works. Occasionally she does a random back flip and dashes off to avoid some invisible antagonist.

I am very hungry. I've discovered the joy of ramen noodles outside of the chicken flavor. Oriental and Spicy Chicken are both wonderful. Oriental is pretty much a slightly more spicy Beef, but Beef is good too of course. Don't ever try the Mushroom though. It tastes like pouring pure sugar on your noodles. Its pretty much inedible. All the other flavors are mostly un-eventful. So its Oriental and Spicy Chicken for me.

My space bar is slightly broken. If I don't hit it right in the middle, the entire other side of the bar comes up and it doesn't press. So if I miss any spaces, I'm gonna go ahead and chalk it up to that.

I watched Clockwork Orange for the third time today. Good movie. Good movie.

I feel incapable of using colorful adjectives. Too much time away. I'll get it with practice.

Living alone is strange. And supporting myself. Though I don't have to pay for a place to live, which is wonderful. I never thought I'd be here six months ago. I'm not doing too bad at saving money from work, though I have no idea what I'm going to do with it. After I save enough, I'm just gonna go crazy and spend all my checks having fun for awhile.

I'm going to be going up to Austin on the 13th or 14th for Austin City Limits. I really can't wait. Gonna get to see Muse, The White Stripes, The Decemberists, Bob Dylan and a few other notables.

I'd like to buy some Bowling Shoes off Ebay,but I think I'm going to wait a few more weeks. Wait until I'm just blowing all my checks.

Forgot to post this last night.

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 19:06:39 GMT

On Monday I called Mr. Pedraza and asked to start taking guitar lessons again. Fridays at 3:00, woohoo! Its been almost exactly a year since my last lesson. That's a depressing thought. Still, I did improve in that time. Granted, not as much as I would have if I had been under his tutelage I would think. It gave me some time to wrap my head around some stuff and I think that helped alot. I think my fingers have weakened over my time away, but my feel has definitely improved, so I guess it wasn't just wasted time. I can't wait for the lesson, although I'm far from ready for it. I kinda need to know the notes of the entire fretboard. Which I'm not that far from. Once I have that in mind, it should all become as logical as a piano is and I love that.

I wonder if he'll teach me Classical or Jazz?

Tomorrow I'm going to go see Ted Leo, which is pretty exciting. I only wish I knew Hearts of Oak better. Every other album of his I'm very well acquainted with. Only recently have I been able to get into Hearts of Oak. What I enjoyed about him most in the beginning was least prominent in that album, I think. I think that Tyranny of Distance is pretty easily my favorite of his. Alot more diverse than his others, except for maybe his newest.

Before the show, Laura and I are going to head up to Houston early so that we can spend the day up there just checking out the sights. Going to go to this street that's a giant floral store, essentially, which sounds pretty fun, I think. Other than that, I have no idea what to do in the city besides going to the Zoo or getting mugged. Just wandering around for a few hours before a Ted Leo show sounds like my idea of the best day ever, though. I can't wait.

Michael and I have quit the band at church. We're still going to attend service, but it was pretty clear that we weren't wanted in the band by the administration and besides the good feeling of helping out, a volunteer kind of feeds on appreciation. I'll miss it alot. Oh well, other avenues to rock out should present themselves in due times. If they do not, I will be sad. I actually learned alot being in the band this time around.

I wish I had something to talk about besides music and guitar. Kinda why I don't make entries any more. Besides more personal thoughts, that's pretty much all I got.

I saw a show a few days ago where the director's name was Bonerz.

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 03:27:40 GMT

This is my second night in New York City. Funny, my parents didn't know that the apartment they rented was in Harlem. Kind of a weird realization as our pseudo-cabbie drives us there, as things get more and more ghetto. Ah well. Its half the cost of a night in a Hotel around here and its an apartment. They won't let Chelsea leave at night, which is kind of disappointing, as I was hoping to have all kinds of fun running around, taking the Subway from place to place and just having a good time and I don't wanna do that alone.

We arrived late last night. Our plane, which was supposed to depart at 10:40, left at 2:10. Then, after the landing, there was an additional wait of twenty or thirty minutes for a runway thingy to open up. A little bit of wasted time never killed anyone who didn't have plans, though. We each got a $7 coupon for food around the airport, and between the five of us, hey. We also each got a $50 coupon for flights on the air line. Again, between the five of us, that's nothing to sneeze at. The air line only flies to New York City and Honolulu from Houston, though. We have to use them within a year and I suspect we will, one way or another. I'd love to come back to New York with some friends.

After getting our bags and getting over the initial shock of the air port smelling like Bologna, we stepped outside, in search of a ride. We were initially going to rent a car, but that goes against convential wisdom regarding New York City as I'm sure you all know. So, while looking for a cab, we were accosted by a few "privately owned" Taxi services. Unfortunately, my father grew weak and gave in to one of them. I expect that the $77 we had to pay him was more than the standard cab fee. He was a terribly entertaining fellow though. Decked out in pimp-gear and driving a SUV with a bumper sticker exclaiming "SOUTH SIDE ROLLA" or something similar. He asked us five or six times whether where we were heading was really the address we wanted to go to. This was the first sign that perhaps something was amiss.

The ride there was mostly pleasant, besides the testicle wrenching fear. Every few yards, the city seems to become more threatening and ghetto. Giant holes in the road and a constant distant yelling mark the street where our apartment is located. Our pimp-daddy-cabby tells us we aren't exactly the kind of folks he takes to this side of the city. I wasn't terribly surprised. I was listening to Ted Leo's new album on the way there and that seemed to make it more frightening for some reason.

I think that the iPod is the best investment I've ever made. Its gotten a solid 16 hours of use over the past two days, I'd say. Maybe more. It hasn't really been off, any time that I've been conciouss. It makes one feel alot cooler walking around the city with a theme song.

Tomorrow, I'm going to take my sister to see Bright Eyes if we can find some place to acquire some tickets and I imagine there'll be someone scalping 'em outside of the venue. If not, I'll be relieved that I won't have to listen to his screeching. Day after that, we're gonna go see The Thermals, which has me pretty stoked. I didn't even know they were playing until I looked up when and where Bright Eyes was and saw that they were playing the day after. Thank God for that. I'd be pretty pissed had I ever found out and missed them. Still, gonna have to scalp those tickets as well.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll go on some night time adventure into the heart of Manhattan and put the events into words in my head as I ride the Subway back home at 3:00 AM. I should feel more adventurous then. I kinda wanna go out now. Maybe I will.

Instrumental section in half time.

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 08:38:32 GMT

Days pass, days pass. Not many of them stick out. The differences between yesterday and day before yesterday are near indistinguishable. No matter how much it feels like things change, whether it be for a moment, a day, a week or a month, it always ends up right back here.

I'm thinking of getting a job over at Quizno's. Its only an exit down, Jake, Joe and Chris all work there. Joe and Chris will probably be managers pretty soon. It looks like an easy going job and I'd be working with friends. I think I just might do it. I think it'll be a considerably better work experience than Target. Jesus, it better be. Once again my mind is reeling at the idea of having money to spend. Guitars galore!

Today was spent, though I don't remember much of it. My life is like a giant mass of lethargy, although I'm usually not particularly lethargic. I just seem to behave like someone who is. Let me see. Hung out with Paxton and Michael from noon to four. We climbed up the bamboo trees behind the fence at my park, which is always alot of fun. If only it wasn't mere feet away from someone's back yard who owns a barking dog. They come outside to see why he's been barking for the past half hour almost every time we go out there. His barking went unanswered this time, thankfully. Threw sticks and broke logs, took advantage of nature. Great fun. Other than that, there was Guitar Hero II and Karaoke Revolution. Karaoke Revolution is fun, but unfulfilling. It doesn't have enough songs and the novelty of singing crappy 80s pop and 90s wanna-be alternative wears thin and one will give anything just to play a song that doesn't contain the words "tear drop" or "baby" somewhere in it.

I don't think I like Joy Division or My Bloody Valentine. No matter how many times I listen to Loveless, it just doesn't do anything for me.

Laura and I watched The Prestige. Its the second time I've seen it. Pretty good movie, I thought. It stuck with me really strongly from the first viewing, so there were no surprises, which is always disappointing. Still. It was good.

The last two weeks of the band at church have been phenomenal. I don't know why our rock power got turned back on. Its like someone flipped a switch and suddenly we're back to how we were in the beginning. Roaring guitars, thumping bass, screeching vocals and thundering drums. I don't even know how it happens. We're supposed to play somewhere, sometime. Like, another church. I think we have, like, two engagements at other churches actually, plus the Fellowship of Christian Athletes at Pearland High every month. And I think there might've been something else to. So I dunno. People come from other churches to see us play. Its weird. Michael and I are having trouble thinking of a fun song to play to open up the service. We've recently been doing that and it really seems to set the right mood. We've played Eye of the Tiger, James Bond, Korobeiniki (The Tetris Theme), Wipeout...all good stuff. Maybe we'll do Live and Let Die.

I'm leaving for New York in a few days. I should probably ask when. That should break the monotony. Not that every day doesn't present excitement and wonderfulness. I just can't seem to muster the enthusiasm to take advantage of any of it any longer.

The New Pornographers are very, very good. And I've only listened to their first album. Haven't had something nice and poppy to enjoy in the past six months or so and it feels really good to not constantly be looking for something that "fits the mood" when I'm putting something on. That's the joy of pop. It just is. All the time.

I don't feel like I'm going to be able to sleep for a very long time. But I am tired. Really tired. So I don't know.

I've been stricken with my first case of razor burn. I'm not entirely certain why the past few years of shaving various areas of my body hasn't yielded such unruly results before now, but I guess I hit a sensitive spot. Curse you, above and beside the Adam's Apple area! I don't think I have too much of a neckbeard potential, which is really half exciting, half disappointing. If I ever wanna go for that "friendly but socially unaware" look, I'd need the neckbeard.

I'm trying to conquer the music that's played before service at Church. I don't think that late 90s alterna-Christian bands are what the Teenagers that come in are going to associate with. I feel like some groovy, dance-y, just plain cool stuff is more appropriate. But its not my business to make that decision, obviously. I guess I'll just start turning on stuff on my iPod over the speakers and see if they turn it off. Its not really something I can ask about, I don't think. Get some instrumental Pogues up in there, a little Primal Scream, some Ventures...just stuff that really evokes a sense of coolness, whether it be retro, ironic or just plain pistol totin' gangsta with a groove walk.

Children of Men is a really great film. I'd highly recommend it to anyone. I saw it twice in theaters. I'm kind of a sucker for the use of In the Court of the Crimson King, to be fair, though. I didn't get King Crimson until I saw it used in that movie. 21st Century Schizoid Man did something for me, obviously, but everything else kind of rang hollow. Now it all adds up. I can't imagine why. Sometimes just a little bit of visual imagery with a song can make it so much more powerful from that point on, for some reason. Thinking of the towering Statue of David with those giant dogs at the base of it in that plain white room with the windows in the back drop is just so vivid when I listen to it.

I am tired. Good night.

Infinitymoles.

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 06:55:56 GMT

I was beginning to think I'd never write in here again.

I have tickets for Explosions in the Sky and I'm giddy. Giddy scarcely begins to describe what I am. Every day is a painful reminder that I am not currently at the show. Which is not to say that what I am doing on a day to day basis is worthless and boring, but there are not alot of things that measure up to what I expect from it.

I'm going to New York City on March 1st. I think that's when, at least. Maybe a few days earlier. Anyways, while I'm up there I'm gonna get to see Ben Kweller and maybe Les Miserables, which is pretty cool. Since its my sister's birthday, I'm going to be taking her to see Bright Eyes. Ugh. At least I don't have to tolerate Jack's Mannequin like I thought I would. It'd be pretty funny if what's-his-face, the Bright Eyes guy, got sick and cancelled the show because he would be afraid of giving a sub-par vocal performance.

Went to "the boat" as my parents have affectionately dubbed it earlier. We thought we'd finally get to sail, but alas, it seems that we have purchased the wrong mount for the motor. Oh well. Tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or sometime else. Soon, I will be sea-bound, and that is good enough for me. I can't wait until the moment I'm laying on top of the boat on a bright, sunny day, listening to some Beatles or something else that seems to define those moments. My pasty white skin charring within moments of contact with the sun. Nearby captains going blind immediately, telling stories of a supposed mirror that seemed to reflect the sun's own fury. That mirror is my skin.

I suspect I should be attending Ted Leo when he comes as well. That's pretty exciting. April 5th, I think.

My fingers are coming back to me. Sort of. I still don't feel the same as I did before, but something is changing for the better regarding my desire to play guitar. My minor pentatonic wanking doesn't sound entirely the same all the time now. Just mostly.

I watched Almost Famous last night. Its the first time I've seen it and gotten, like, all the references. I think so at least. Last time I saw it was a good two years ago or so. Its a pretty good movie. I enjoyed it more this time than the last ones. I'm really different than I used to be. I can hardly spot similarities. I still fall asleep with both socks on and wake up with only one missing, oddly enough.

I acquired some fancy-schmancy dress shirts earlier tonight. They look pretty good, I am thinking. Now if only there were a time to wear them.

I've given you the awful truth, now give me my rest.

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 08:32:04 GMT

I got no idea what's going on.

Have I chronicled my firing? I was fired. I no longer work at Target, thank God. Never again will I work at a Super Store. I called in two days sick and they told me not to come back. My only regret is that I won't have money any longer. Once again, I have to return to rationing it like crazy, planning out where I can and can't go, unable to afford anything for myself.

I need to get Laura a birthday present.

I bought an Elvis Costello record by the name of All This Useless Beauty. I'm now only one or two discs away from the entire collection outside of strange collaborations that aren't primarily his work and that sort of stuff. And Goodbye Cruel World. I don't even know if I want that, I hear its dreadful. Then again, I love even his most masturbatory and over the top stuff. The more crazy he goes with the ridiculous cynicism, hedonism and narcissism the more on-board I am, the more cruel, vile and wicked his words are, the more I love it. And that makes me feel kind of silly, considering myself a man of considerable tastes.

I've garnered quite a fascination with the X-Files. Which may well conflict with the previous sentence. Whatever, it seems like a pretty high quality show to me. Laura and I have stayed up 'til the crack of dawn a few nights watching it on TNT, which is alot of fun.

For Christmas I got either a 512 MB or 1 GB memory stick/card thing for my camera. I'm not certain which. Whatever the case, it now allows me to record 24 minutes of video or 800-something pictures. That's exciting as hell. I'm trying to start using it alot now. I've completely lost my eye for beauty. My ability to recognize unique situations that I can take advantage of for my own enjoyment. My love of solitude or accomplishment. And I know exactly where it all went. I don't think it will be coming back, frankly. I thought I could get it back, but until I remove some obstructions, I am to remain completely...something.

I also received a Peavey Classic 30 amp for Christmas. There are no words to describe the tone my Stratocaster gets through that sucker. Its like, suddenly I understand why its such a popular guitar. I had always felt the sound of the Les Paul suited me more, but coming out of a Tube amp like that brings it to life. I got to turn it up to 10 out of 12 on the pre and post gain when we played at Pearland High School on Monday. Ohhh God, it sounded so sweet.

Lots of new music. Most of it is not to my liking. I should have known better than going to a "best of 2006" thread and downloading everything there. One or two winners, granted, but I really should have been more selective, I think. Still, no harm in having more music. If I don't like it now, I suspect I will eventually. That's how it has worked thus far at least. Except for The Fall. I downloaded them ages ago and I still don't like them. Or Led Zeppelin.

I did buy a Led Zeppelin IV LP that I saw at Half Price Books though. How could I resist? I do enjoy listening to it. It fits a certain mood I guess. And that mood is "retarted" but oh well. I get that way. Increasingly often, it seems.

I wouldn't let a damn molecule of my dick touch you!

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 06:49:14 GMT

I was in a car wreck a few days ago. Some moron was on the shoulder with a boat hitched to the back of his truck and he pulled out into the freeway going roughly 10 MPH. Meanwhile, regular traffic was fairly heavy and moving a pretty solid 70 MPH. And there were a few cars not a few feet behind him. I was one of those cars. I hit the breaks, not really too hard. I've gotten more than decent at judging how much breakage is needed and where to remain comfortable and not slow down too fast for the people behind me. Unfortunately, the person behind me wasn't paying attention, it seems. She was quite far behind me. It was seconds after everything had returned to normal before I get hit. I like to feel that Michael and I both remained unusually calm, though admittedly we hadn't an idea what to do. So, we pulled over and talked with her a little bit. We decided it would be best to call the cops and let them tell us what to do, pretty much. So, we did that. The cop was nice enough and so was the girl who slammed into me. I'm really amazed at how well my truck took it. The tailgate is just bent pretty much, meanwhile the entire front end of her car is just decimated. I mean, it was smashed into itself. Radiator fluid leaking everywhere. After the cop filed the report, I was allowed to just drive off. Now I've gotta go through the hassle of doing all the insurance crap. Le sigh.

I've acquired some new albums from Half Price Books. Wednesday Morning 3AM by Simon and Garfunkel, Bat Out of Hell by Meat Loaf (Hohoho), Live at Leeds by The Who, whatever B-52s albums has Rock Lobster, The Game by Queen and Purple Rain by Prince. Damn good haul for one trip. I almost got In Through the Out Door, but then I realized that I really dislike Led Zeppelin. I would buy I, II, III or IV, to be fair. Both of my Simon and Garfunkel albums are in terrible condition, which is really depressing given that I don't have them in any other format and I really like them.

Life has been unusually busy as of late. Whatever time wasn't taken by work was taken by hanging out with Laura or Michael. Since LJ entries are always inspired by lack of anything to do and not wanting to go to sleep yet, they obviously suffered. I suspect they may continue to.

Work is hell. I hate it. I feel like an incompetent fool when I'm doing it, despite being perfectly decent at it. I guess it's just that everyone else already knows where the hash browns are at and all that jazz. The pay checks are nice, but I don't have anything to spend my money on. I've become so accustomed to living without buying myself anything that I don't even want anything any longer. I've got $280 just sitting in my wallet that will probably just end up buying me gas and food. Guess I'll use it to buy everyone some Christmas. I intend to quit my job if I'm not fired come January. They're giving me shit hours nows. 6 hours this week, 5 the next. Seriously. That's insane. I mean, at this point I'd rather not go in at all, but still. Laura informs me that I can almost definitely get a job at the end of year at Kroger doing Produce. I'm told it's ridiculously laid back and easy. Exactly what I need. It'll be more than a $1 pay cut though, most likely. Whatever, I'll probably get more hours to balance it out. If I don't, it's not like I have anything to do with the money anyways.

I don't feel Christmas yet. Perhaps if I go find it instead of waiting for it to find me, I will. Too busy, too busy.

The Pogues are wonderful. Though I can't take more than six tracks at a time or so. Since their only album I have has three times that many, I'm finding it hard to wrap my head around it.

To try to recapture his anger.

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 06:21:14 GMT

I think its finally happened. My ears have finally completely and utterly opened to Elvis Costello. Everything he has recorded sounds gorgeous now. It took, like, a year and a half for the more out there stuff. But damn. It feels good.

My birthday weekend up at the farm was wonderful. I really wish Jacob could've gone. Its the first birthday of mine he's missed since I've met him, like, nine years ago. I think so at least. God, I'm eighteen now. I don't feel any different. Maybe more serious. More serious than I'd like to be. But then, any evolution in my personality seems completely natural, so I can't really...dislike it.

I went to Orientation at Target today. Five hours of mind numbing crap. Pretty much they spent the entire time telling us to not fall off any ladders. Pretty much none of it was applicable to me as a worker in "Food Avenue" as they have titled it. Its a Pizza Hut one, which is pretty cool. The girl who will be training me seems like a nice enough woman. I start my training tomorrow morning at 7:00. Means I need to wake up at 6:00. Which is only five hours and forty-five minutes away from right now. I should really be asleep. And I think I will be soon enough.

The only birthday gift I've received thus far is an iPod. OH GOD YES. 80 gigs of pure joy, which makes me a spoiled and horrible person. Only have 30 gigs of it full at the moment. But that's okay. My collection can only grow, the way I figure it. I also got a FM Transmitter for it, so I can use it in my car for great NO MORE CD JUSTICE! Oh my God, its incredible.

Laura decided to stay at Kroger instead of coming to Target with me. Kind of makes me sad that I won't get to work with her, but I guess she kind of needs the insurance that Kroger gives her. Oh well. Sometime in the future, maybe.

I feel really congested in my head. I can't wait until I have my first paycheck and that's all I can think about.

I’m not complaining. I’m glad that kids are being brainwashed to die for me.

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 20:41:52 GMT

I saw Ben Folds with an Orchestra on the first. That was lovely. He was very talkative, which was nice, because he hadn't hardly said anything when I saw him last. The set list was something of a snoozer, though I'm not really complaining, as the slow songs were much better served by the Houston Symphony. I know pretty much everything he's ever released note for note, so it kind of takes the surprises out of a show, but still, it was a blast. Jones Hall was a really nice venue. It was...I dunno. Fancy-schmancy.

I got my turn table working. Jake was generous enough to toss one he had lying around my way. Well, two, actually. Only cost $20 to get a new needle. I had all the necessary cords and etc. etc. lying around the house. Now I've a fully operational record player hooked up to my computer. As such, I'm listening to the few I have over and over again.

I found Elvis Costello's Almost Blue a few days ago in the used records, so I picked that up. Now, in one format or another, I have nearly every Costello official album. I think all I'm missing in terms of actual albums is North and All This Useless Beauty. I find that the more I listen to him, the more I enjoy him. Listening to This Year's Model and My Aim is True on my turn table is orgasmic. Though I do find that everything sounds oddly high-pitched on My Aim is True. I wonder what's up with that.

I applied for a job at Target yesterday. Then was immediately whisked away for an interview. Laura too, so that's cool. We're gonna be working together. I'm working in the food place. I'm the pizza and hot dog boy! Such an undignified position fits me well, I think. Laura is working in the changing rooms. The interviews went fine. Had to take a drug test. Pissed in a cup. Had to piss really bad, so I pretty much filled the sucker up and it would've overflown onto my hands if I hadn't started aiming at the toilet. Still, got all over my hands. Their soap smelled like vaseline. Orientation is on Monday. I'm getting paid $7.25. Laura is making $7.00, despite having two years of working experience. My position is difficult I'm told and I suppose that's the reason.

I'm not sure what I intend to do with all the dough I'll be rolling in. Maybe having a job will inspire me enough to care.

I should be getting an iPod for my birthday. I'll finally be able to toss out the six CD cases I have in my car. They get so scratched up in the floor that they're unusable. I can't wait for when I can listen to music in my truck without it skipping.

Life is rolling right along, rolling right along. Dunno where I'm goingggg.

I feel kinda dry and illiterate.

So What.

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 06:29:03 GMT

The cable company is sending someone out on Tuesday to fix my internet connection and hopefully television as well. It took far too long to get done, but what can I say? It's been months since I've been able to download stuff or be on AIM for more than a few seconds, so I'm pretty relieved. Finally, a return to normalcy.

Speaking of normalcy, the Holidays are coming up. Hopefully that means less of, well, normalcy. Ben Folds on the 1st, The Fray on the 5th, my Birthday on the 11th, Michael's on the 21st. Good month.

I saw Ozma and they exploded me pretty good. When Laura, Michael and I arrived at Numbers, we located a parking spot on the curb around the corner and ventured in without incident. Everything from there until the moment we left was quite notable. As we were waiting in line to get the tickets, someone opened a door that gave me a clear view of a stage. Before, I had thought that the music was simply something they were playing before the show started, but no. There it was. I don't know how to describe what I saw, but I'm going to go ahead and try. A vampire bat with an Armenian accent arm wrestling with a hairy French-Italian woman named Juan. No, no, that's all wrong. That's not even close. But it should give you an idea. A more literal interpretation of what I saw through that door was a guy in a Jester's mask and a clown outfit waving a cane around while he kinda sing-talks about creativity and his companion wales on the Keytar. Somewhere in the not so distant distance, another "band" member obnoxiously beats on a set of trash cans. The band was called PeachCake, and I found them very silly. Such comedy gold nuggets as "You are unique and special and don't let anyone ever tell you any different", "Everyone, everyone, lift your fingers. Lift your spirits in the air" and "Hold hands, come on, it is time. Hold hands, no one can stop us, it is time for us to become one. Everyone in the audience. Come together, come together!". Needless to say, the three of us remained spectators. Which kind of made me feel like an ass.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=452291 is their MySpace. If you're up for a taste of my pain.

The next act to come on, some emo band called "Cute is What We Aim For" took the stage. Apparently their lead singer was sick, so they decided they would simply do a short acoustic set with just their singer and guitarist. It wasn't offensively bad, unlike PeachCake, but it was, you know, a mediocre emo band. All I remember about their performance was the lyric "If you're a liar, you don't deserve to have friends." which I thought was hilarious.

Finally, the main event. For us, at least. The real headliners were HelloGoodbye, another emo band if I'm not mistaken. I don't know how Ozma got mixed up with this motley crew. I suppose they do have some fairly emo lyrics and vague traces of the sound...Blah, not really. Anyways, they opened the show with Natalie Portman, which is one of my favorite songs of theirs. I mostly prefer their sound on the Doubble Donkey Disc (mis-spelling intentional) and it is one of the few that isn't off of it that I really enjoy. Their two albums besides the aforementioned one have five or six gold nuggets tucked away in them, admittedly. DDD just has such a cohesive sound and feel to it, while the others feel so erratic. Blah, anyways they put on a spectacular show. The tried and true method of making every measure just a little harder than the recorded track didn't fail them. I discovered a few songs of theirs that I hadn't previously known that I really enjoyed. Their lead guitarist was incredible. He showed nary a sign of a single emotion during the entire show, but his playing was just so utterly spectacular that it doesn't really matter. Any time that I became remotely bored with a song I didn't really like, I'd just focus on his fingers gliding across the strings effortlessly. I think the only thing he did during the show besides stand there and play was go over to the Keyboardist and play thirds up the keys with a bored look on his face and shrug. Meanwhile, everyone else on stage is just rocking out. His neckbeard made me respect him immediately. They usually have the opposite effect, oddly enough.

I'm not remotely ready for the week to begin. I guess it does have its share of perks, however. The sense of order and responsibilities is nice whenever one has nothing better to do with their time.

I ran to the library with Laura a few days ago. She has to do a History paper, so we picked her up a book on my card. The fee was $15, unfortunately. Oh well, at least I can, like, read again. It feels nice. I'm feeling less and less like a moron. I got Slaughter-House Five. Not my style of book, but I am enjoying it anyway. Sparse writing doesn't suit me. I love me some thick, creamy, completely over the top prose. The boy laughed and so did the others. And the poinsettia sun set over the slowly swishing water of the ravine as the pale boy found his shrill laughter contagious.

Have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry. Have patience, have patience, no need to stress or worry. The immortal wisdom of children's songs. Maybe it's wrong though. Time will tell and I'll wait patiently until it does.

"I don't remember" seems to be my standard excuse if ever asked something embarrassing. Caring is creepy.

I take the same perverse pleasure in pulling my nose hairs that many do in popping pimples.

I went to see the Prestige with my comrades. I was very impressed. Well, impressed is not the word, because I expected nothing less than absolute greatness from a movie directed by Christopher Nolan with Christian Bale, Michael Cain, Hugh Jackman AND DAVID BOWIE! There isn't very much to say about it, because I have no complaints. It was just a joy to watch happen. Any movie where two guys try to ruin each other's shit is bound to be great. It's a simple formula. I found David Bowie's character particularly interesting, as he is a historical figure. Nikola Tesla. A quick Wikipedia found some very informative, er, information on him that made certain elements of the movie make more sense.

Joe has written a new song that the band is supposed to play next week. I like it a lot. Something about the chord progression is very pleasing to the ear and unique. Well, the progression isn't unique. I guess the key kinda is, at least, so it sounds kinda different. For us it is unique, at least. Anything to get out of the G-D-Em-C rut. E-C#m is really, well, pretty sounding. The steady building of the pre-chorus...the Explosions in the Sky-esque touch that Michael and I are adding to the intro and verse...I'm pretty excited about it.

The band sounded lovely tonight, though perhaps underwhelming. One cannot expect every night to be the best they've ever played, but even so, it is disappointing when its run of the mill.

Cryptic is the way to go. The eagle has landed and a bird in the hand is better than a crab shedding its legs under a rock near Zimbabwe. I think so, at least. Getting there.

I hate/love getting in musical ruts. Whenever one only wants to listen to one or three artists and anything else sounds obscene. I really prefer whenever I can listen to new stuff and get to know it, but getting to know an artists work so well is really great as well. Right now Ozma, Simon & Garfunkel and Muse are all that I hear. I'd like to note that Simon & Garfunkel is way too good for how repetitive and similar it all is. But damn, the Sound of Silence is perfect, driving down the highway alone at night.

I feel as though there is more to say. I know there is more to say. That is for another time, I suspect. Good night.

I exit through the spot light glare.

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 05:26:43 GMT

Why must TV schedules change so often? Futurama, Futurama, Family Guy, Malcolm in the Middle, Seinfeld, Seinfeld, sleep. It was perfect. Now it's all crazy and I don't even know what's on when. My mind is obliterated. Geraldo is on instead of Malcolm in the Middle. Hrmm. At least I get to see Geraldo's shining face in this topsy-turvy world of cynicism and violence. He's like a giant baby with a mustache! I've never actually listened to him speak, but I'm sure it would be the kind of enlightening that Buddha talked about. Just look at him!

I am shocked to find that Paxton has made a film project-thingy that I don't find utterly distasteful. I thought it was pretty funny, actually. Well done Mr. P. You still lack subtlety, but you're getting better.

Laura was over for awhile. She got marked a few times with a permanent marker. I think I got it worse though. The battle is far from over, I hope she knows.

I'm completely unable to think of anything for the music film thing that I'm going to do with Paxton. I think I want to use When I Was Cruel No. 2 though. It's just so utterly noir. So much so that it's almost embarrassingly over the top about it. And I love it. It just oozes the image of a guy in a black and white film in a trench coat, walking down a dimly lit side walk at night as the rain spatters lightly. I need a basic premise to base the imagery off of. I think I'm going to try to create a sense of paranoia somehow. Something about the infuriating repetitiveness of the song should make for building tension...Eight minutes of the same thing. Ah yeah, I think I can actually see where it's going now.

I acquired the vinyl for Quadrophenia, My Aim is True, The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway and Rosemary, Parsley, Sage and Thyme. I think that's what it's called at least. So, I'm pretty excited about those. So close to the ability to listen to them all. November 11th baby, wooo-hoooo!

I'll be attending an Ozma concert on the 19th, which is terribly soon. Unfortunately, hellogoodbye will also be there who I am of the opinion suck very much. I'll be seeing Ben Folds with an Orchestra November 1st, hopefully the Fray on the 4th. Time will tell.

Having my guitar fixed is utterly incredible. It feels like a completely brand new instrument. It's so beautiful. It feels better than brand new. It plays better than it ever has.

It appears that the band I play in at church will be forming a little side project as a classic rock cover band. I'm trying to get together a few songs for us to learn over the week before next practice. I'm thinking Live and Let Die and Get Back would both work really well. I think I'll suggest those. While My Guitar Gently Weeps and the Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End medley would be really nice as well. If we can get together a decent set list, we can make quite a bit of money on the side for each of us. Like, alot, actually. I mean, $50-$100 for each of us every time we play a gig should be awesome.

It looks like Michael is going away to UT in roughly a year's time. Kinda sucks, but man, it's Austin. Pretty exciting, really. Music capital of Texas, easily. Probably the best music scene of anywhere that I can think of, actually.

I rented Heat. I suspect I'll watch it sometime tomorrow since it's so late now.

Elvis is dead, Sinatra is dead, and me I feel also not so good.

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 06:42:04 GMT

My internet is a travesty. I ran a test on it to see exactly how slow it was going out of curiosity and lo and behold. The answer is very. It is going very slow. 20Kb/s download speed is pretty pathetic for a cable connection. I seem to be cursed with slow internet and constant down time. It's not like I live out in the middle of the Sahara for God's sake! I don't see how it's possible that two separate broadband companies could both be absolutely useless at my particular location IN THE MIDDLE OF A SPRAWLING METROPOLIS! And half of the channels on the cable box don't work.

I didn't end up getting to sleep until 3:30 or so last night. Despite this, I got up at 9:00 so that I could go take some photos with Michael and Laura whenever they were done with classes 'round noon. As a result, I am very tired right now. As soon as I'm done here, I suspect I'll be face down in my bed, falling asleep to the soothing sounds of Simon and Garfunkel.

IT IS AS HOT AS HELL IN HERE! That has been said about many things. The sun, for example. However, I'm not entirely sure that anything compares to this heat. Then why are you covered in a blanket you may ask? Oh yes, never mind, it's no longer hot. I've activated the fan. The cool air caresses my naked and nubile young body like the anxious and trembling hand of a pedophile. Perhaps that is not a good analogy. The sweet breeze washes over my undressed self and promises me so many more moments of pleasure that I know it can never keep, though I smile and nod, reassuring it of my belief in its ability to please me.

Pulp has what has to be the worst lyrics ever. I absolutely adore them, mind you, but they're just so painfully and hilariously over the top. It fits their music well, I suppose. A small sampling;

When you raise your pencil skirt like a veil before my eyes
Like the look upon his face as he's zipping up his flies.
Oh I know that you're engaged to him.
Oh but I know that you want something to play with baby.
I'll be around when he's not in town, I'll show you how you're doing it wrong
I really love it when you tell me to stop.
Oh it's turning me on.
You can tell me some lies about the good times that you've had
But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your Dad.

Today was rather uneventful, though I found it to be particularly wonderful. I can't place my finger on why. It was just one of those absolutely normal days where you think that, despite the fact that nothing was special, nothing was wrong. And you feel like you could be happy if every day was like this. Nothing unique, just a little bit of everything you love. Then again, despite how good the day has made me feel, things weigh heavily on my mind.

The three of us took a trip to Wal-Mart out of boredom. I can't place my finger on how I ended up in a red cowboy hat, giant sports sunglasses, a belt with a giant heart belt-buckle and a purple boa, but I imagine it had something to do with how delirious I began to feel towards the end of the day.

And the visions that were planted in my brain still remain.

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 08:28:54 GMT

Today was eventful. Harrison came over and was in the mood for some Sesame House, so I jumped in the shower. While I was in there, Laura called and informed me that she needed to kill some time 'til 3:00 when she had to work, so I told her to come along. Fun was had, Laura Google image searched the term "black and white" looking for photography, not knowing the true nature of the internet. Now she knows. I imagine she'd never seen a woman's anus held open in that manner before now.

After Harrison and her left, the entire day was leading up to what I would call my first official "gig" or concert or whatever. Our band played in the Pearland High School gym for a group called FCA. Something Christian Athletes. Probably a hundred-something kids, so it was quite an experience. We had a good 90% of them rocking out. I saw more flashes of the horns in this crowd than any other, so that was a good sign. It went really well. I don't remember alot honestly. I was lost in it, which is kind of an elusive high at this point, although we completely rock every time we play. I know we played somewhere between six and ten songs. I know that the crowd did backup vocals for one of the songs we played without us prompting them to. I know that since none of our instruments were mic'd, we just turned our amps up loud and rocked it in the fashion to which I was accustomed a year ago, which was pretty nostalgic. That absolute roar is a great feeling. Being so completely loud that you're making your ears ring and yet, you're hardly audible in the cacophony of everyone elses instruments. Ahhh, the I went from feeling like crap when I got there to an absolutely incredible natural high from playing that I only get from our best performances. Then I had my first bottle of Bawls, which Michael and I have considered a door way into nerd-dom. I have officially crossed the barrier now. I will order my pair of suspenders as soon as I find it convenient.

After that, it was decided that Michael and I both had work to do, so we went our separate ways. I thought I was doomed to boredom for the remainder of the evening, so I went about cleaning my room. There's a certain sense of satisfaction that I'd long forgotten about in it. Fortunately, shortly there-after the lovely Ms. Pelle came to my rescue and entertained me until 2:00. Taco Bell and Television galore!

We hung up three albums on the wall of my room. The original plan was to put up This Year's Model, but we decided that Night and Day and Imperial Bedroom might as well go up also. Looking at them now, I do like it, but it definitely clashes. I was thinking it'd be cool to get Elvis's first three albums and hang them in chronological order from left to right, since they have a certain continuity to them. The pop trilogy, if you will. All three begin with his unaccompanied vocals and I was hoping that their covers may have similarities as well. Unfortunately, not as much as one would hope. My Aim Is True and This Year's Model have the theme of him standing there, looking geeky, but Armed Forces is a completely different style. Oh well. I'll probably just end up putting up some albums with no relation to each other that look nice next to each other. I can't think of anything off hand that has the slightly off-kilter, nerdy and minimalistic appearance of This Year's Model but I'm sure I'll come up with something. I could always put up Armed Forces, Blood and Chocolate and Imperial Bedroom. They all have a common theme of Costello albums with a certain artistic appearance. They'd fit really well together, actually. Hmm...it's only a matter of procuring them now.

I really should be in bed now. It just doesn't feel right though. A world of limitless knowledge and entertainment at my finger tips. New music to discover, old ways to entertain myself...

I downloaded some Faith No More, My Bloody Valentine, Echo and the Bunnymen, Pavement and Pulp. I'm digging the latter three something fierce and I've yet to try the first two. Their names both sound like modern emo bands. Wikipedia and individuals across the internet inform me that they are not. I'm inclined to believe them.

Emo is a surprisingly big little thing isn't it? I guess it will go the way of nu-metal eventually, but to think that it replaced it is pretty crazy. I guess in the same way that nu-metal is melodramatic and angry, emo is melodramatic and sad. Kind of appeals to bitter kids in the same way, I suppose.

I realized earlier today that I'm probably going to be a very grumpy old man. On one hand, it sounds like fun. On the other hand, the fact that that's true worries me. When I see some grumpy guy in his fifties getting all bent out of shape over something stupid, I wonder how he got that way. The way that I can kind of understand it and maybe even empathize with it a little bit now is bothersome. I guess I can make a conscious effort to improve my mood, but then, when I feel bad, I kind of don't want to let go of it, because I feel like I have a reason to, 90% of the time at least. Not that I feel bad often, I guess, so it's not that big of a deal. I haven't felt miserable for more than a few passing moments for a few months now. Except for a headache I had during a band practice. That was a pretty long and miserable period.

Now I get sleepy. Now I fall asleep to either Ben Kweller or something more soothing. Like...maybe a play list of Blur's slower songs. Or maybe Elvis Costello's. Ugh, they all sound so good right now.

I don't like being a werewolf, Howly. Cuz, I really love silver. It's a huge dilemma.

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 06:32:09 GMT

Once again, an entire period of my life is lost to lack of entries. My last entry was so long ago, I don't even recognize how I felt when I wrote them any longer. It's like reading the retarted ramblings of some pretentious, pseudo-intellectual stranger! Not that I don't think this fellow is an incredibly charming and debonair man of mystery and enchantment, but man. Over the past two and a half months or so, things have changed completely. And yet, though I run the risk of sounding intentionally contradictory when I say this, everything is still the same.

There's so much worth recounting that is lost now. A weekend at a music festival alone in Austin, a series of acts of public nudity that involved a car chase and being caught in the act (though I assure you, neither one is what you think), the constant sudden appearance of complete contentment and the equally speedy departure that continues on...Ahhh, so exciting. I guess all I can do is just start making entries about the present, as usual. Darn shame though, I'll tell you. Depriving you all of the adventures I've had seems a crime, but unfortunately, I can hardly remember any of them and the ones I can recall lack the detail to tell them with any amount of decency intact.

Bobby called me a few days ago to inform me that he was at Half Price Books and he happened to stumble upon three Elvis Costello records. Like, the actual vinyl. He thought I might be interested. At the time, I disagreed. Unfortunately, my inner hipster has taken over and I now own four albums and nary a turntable in sight. They had This Year's Model, Imperial Bedroom, a collection of rare and unreleased material and a Joe Jackson album called Night and Day. I intend to grab a record player for $90 or so with a built-in preamp for some loving, though I don't know when I'll have that kind of cash to blow. They're just begging to be listened to. Especially This Year's Model. Ooohhh, just thinking about it gives me goose bumps. Despite the fact I have it in MP3 format and know it note for note. Ugh, I'm picking up some Bateman-esque tendencies here.

The culprit that is responsible for my disgustingly long departure from the internet? Mostly my own indifference. Partly my lack of money. Partly my old Wireless router for not working too well with my new Cable connection. It's good to be back.

The band rocked tonight. The band rocks every time we play. I hesitate to say there's a better band playing at a Youth Group within the state, which is horribly arrogant and also not terribly stiff competition. We do rock though.

I'm out of things to say already. Oh my.

No one's tight with Nice Pete. He'd murder dead things if science would let him.

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 05:56:25 GMT

Ahhh, yes. Life is good, I think. My brain feels clear and empty. No worries, hardly any desires, a slight rumble in my stomach...This is nice.

It appears that I did not make an entry last Sunday to detail how playing with the band went. Most spectacular, you might say. It was easily better than it ever was with the old band. Times a few, actually. This is great. I'm actually excited to play tomorrow, which is a really great feeling. Still some kinks that need to be worked out, but it shouldn't be any trouble, really. Ahh, inspiring. Enough to practice? Maybe. It sure is feeling like it. Here's hoping I can muster an ounce of, well, enthusiasm.

Life is much better when everything doesn't seem white-washed. The glory days I used to talk about were easier, but so...gray. Everything seems bright now. The blue of the sky is more beautiful than it ever was then, despite a few problems here and there. I guess Jason Lee in Vanilla Sky was right about the sweet being nothing without the bitter and all that cliché crap. The only thing that could make this better would be if I really did gain my enthusiasm back and if I had some more money. I could be quite happy staying where I am for the rest of eternity though, I think.

Left-over (intentionally, naturally) from July 4th fire works are great for getting into trouble. Not that I've actually been caught yet, but finding new and interesting ways to blow things up in public places has become something of a hobby. I can't wait for an all out brawl at the farm.

Assuming that I do in fact get to go, that is. It seems there're difficulties. Unsurprisingly, Michael's mother's ground-happy trigger figure has once again landed Michael in his house for a solid...unspecified amount of time. So, probably won't be able to go this week, despite the absolutely perfect conditions. Meh, at this point, wasting anger on her cruel ways seems more of a waste than anything. Is this the third of forth out of town outing in a row that she has stopped? I'm not entirely certain. I suspect she will read this, anyways. Leave me a comment Mrs. B and remind me! You can do it anonymously without an account and everything.

City of Villains is looking quite appetizing. City of Heroes had that little bubble of pride in one's chest where one knows that they are playing the inferior product, but take a slight pride in the fact that you're part of the under dogs. But there was always that nagging desire to just...upgrade. Get to play with more Goons, get to play a slightly better game...Yes. On pay day, I suspect I'll have to pick it up. Michael has it now and it's quite lovely.

Spent the first half of the day being lonely, naked and smelly. Then I took a shower, went over to Michael's house, watched two hours of MythBusters with Michael and Laura or something equally ridiculous and left with an incredible urge for ramen noodles. An urge that I'm happy to say has been sated. Ohhh, yes. The bowl is still here. If only I had more. I believe that was my last. I'm going to try and give something besides the chicken flavor a try next time, though I have a feeling it'll just be too different and I won't be able to like it after years of chicken.

Now that I have begun wearing Chuck Taylor's, how can I ever change shoe? I'm not certain if I wear them sarcastically or not. Is everyone else? I'm not certain...It just seems that once one finds a mode of dress that fits one so well, anything outside of it seems to be nothing more than silly. Maybe I'll have a personality overhaul next time I need to buy a shoe. Sigh, conformity feels so good.

Logo all an actual photo of a German Shepherd named Yard Dancer being destroyed by the county.

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 07:44:17 GMT

Spent the day hanging out with Paxton, although I feel like I did something before that. Uhh, what did I do before that? Oh yes.

Last night I went over to Jacob's for some frolicking after I dropped Michael off at Laura's. They went out of town 'til tomorrow to a Lodge in Angleton, I think it was. Laura bought me some Pop Rocks which brought back sweet, sweet memories of child hood. At Jacob's house, we chit-chatted about recent happenings and played guitars which was very fulfilling. He's getting his license on Monday, so there's soon to be another one of us behind the wheel.

Kelly asked me what I want from Japan and I asked her to grab me a Hard Gay outfit. Gonna see if I can meet her tomorrow and give her the $40 or whatever that I suspect it would cost. Is $40 about right?

I spent most of today hanging out with Paxton. His newest project is called "Global Warming: the Rock Opera". I'm hoping to be fairly heavily involved in this one, write some songs for it, maybe a few scenes and characters here and there, definitely some acting credits...Should be a butt load of fun. I tried to write a song for it tonight, but my wit simply isn't active at the moment and it came out really shittily. Rhyming Global Warming with non-conforming is not good.

Tomorrow is the first day that our new band plays. I'm pretty excited for it. Going to have to be at the church pretty much all day tomorrow, starting at 10:45. Oh well. Not like I have anything better to do.

I can't get trying to write a song for Global Warming off my mind. I guess I'm gonna give it another go. At least get together a rough musical structure.

This entry left intentionally vague.

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 08:51:48 GMT

Had a band practice for the new band on Wednesday. I fear that we will be awesome and it will be incredible fun. Our bassist in particular seems talented. It's exciting to see someone doing something on the instrument besides root notes. I'd still rather have Jacob in the band, but meh, oh well. There look to be way too many serious drama issues on the horizon surrounding it, but I suspect when we come out of it, we should have a really strong band. Like, way too strong for a youth group band. I mean, it's hilarious. If I went to a church and during the music someone busted into a guitar solo, I'd probably think it was the most tragicomic thing ever. But oh God, so fun.

Trying to subtlely alter one's own mind set after deciding that one was wrong is not easy. Especially when what you're trying to change is one's natural reaction. But I'm trying. If I can just be bothered to pay a little more attention, I suspect I can succeed. Self-discipline and patience. Two qualities that I lack, I'm afraid. If I can just temporarily gain them to get this one thing done...I've done it before, I suppose. I know I can.

Paul Simon is approaching. I really can't decide whether I'm excited or not. On one hand, I listen to Simon and Garfunkel and Paul Simon's earlier stuff and it's orgasmic. Then I listen in a little further and it's all African chants. Steely Dan is coming and I've got tickets for them as well, but I simply can't seem to get into them. From the one time I've tried months ago. I should probably check them out again. I hate that feeling of seeing a show and in the middle realizing it would be twice as good if one knew the songs well. I guess I'm just that annoying guy who likes to scream the lyrics at concerts. I do it in key, at least.

My general lack of inspiration seems to be fading and is slowly being replaced by something less heavy feeling. A certain lightness is coming back that I've missed quite dearly. That spring in my step is returning and I hadn't even noticed it had left. I still feel like I'm lacking something and I'm fairly certain I know what it is. The cure is unfortunately not something I can healthily acquire, so I suppose I'll simply live with it. I remember the first time I had a real problem; how much I missed being able to lay down and think absolutely nothing. No worries. No troubles. Just solitude with myself. No thoughts running through my head that made me feel anything but joy. Now, nothing seems to make me feel bad per-se, but they can certainly make a great mood into a mediocre one.

Laura is working at the Kroger that's about half a mile from my house occasionally now, so I went to lunch with her earlier today. Whataburger made steaming hot joy in all our mouths. I pretty much just ate her french fries, as I had Zio's with my mother only moments previous. Craziest pizza ever at Zio's. It was just cheese and tomatoes. I'm not much of a tomato fan. I remember the exact moment I started to dislike them. I was walking on some sort of bridge over a small ditch. The bridge was made of planks of wood and the cracks in-between were quite large. I looked through one of the cracks and there was a crab leg. Something about the coloring and shape of it reminded me so much of a tomato and I was so utterly disgusted I couldn't stand the thought of them any longer. It's really bizarre, in retrospect. I imagine that it probably didn't even look like a tomato, but what can one say about a young mind? I thought alot of strange crap when I was young. And now.

Before I refused to let sensitivity get in the way of my goals. Now I refuse to let myself be sensitive enough to attain my goals. Half the time I do something that I don't find particularly pleasing, I feel as though I'm on the outside of my body, looking at myself and muttering about how I'd never do that.

A trip to the farm? That sounds fun. Planned for Tuesday-Thursday, which means I'll have to miss band practice. I feel awful, but it's kind of my only chance to go. Missing the second band practice is setting a really bad precedent. Oh well. Like I always say, I think I add a whole lot to the sound, but Joe plays the Acoustic, so in terms of having me around for practice, I'm not necessary. I think they'd get just as much done without me and I don't really need to practice. Not to be arrogant. I guess actually knowing the chords would make things alot easier than figuring them out on stage.

My sleeping habits have reverted to what I'm hesitant to call their natural state. It seems when I just don't care to keep a decent one it automatically becomes 4:00 AM. I'm fairly confident I know how to fix it.

RADIOHEAD EXPAND TOUR, PLEASE, OH GOD, PLEASE!

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 07:19:45 GMT

Well, the goon meet is suddenly not looking terribly likely. Michael's mother has arbitrarily decided to not let him go. It's funny. She's giving him the choice between going out of town with Laura next week or going to the Goon meet with me this week, knowing full well that it is his duty to put Laura first. She probably delights in that particularly cruel touch to her master plan that I suspect involves several pounds of raw meat and a few pounds of lube. For reasons I am not at liberty to discuss, I suspect there's a secondary party involved here as well. I sincerely hope I'm wrong.

The peculiar amount of drama my life has taken on as of late would probably have made the younger and slightly better me sick. I guess this is part of being a teenager. People all around me seem to enjoy the drama they put themselves and others through, because it seems to make their boring and pointless lives seem to have purpose if only for a moment. So, everything has to be shitty for everyone so that you're less bored? Sounds a little selfish to me, but I doubt that any of these people are anywhere near intelligent enough to know the meaning of self-analyzation.

God, I'm so fucking pretentious.

I don't really know how to segue from my angry white boy rants into the details of my daily drudge through the utter monotony I've allowed my life to become.

Ahh, just had conversation with the talented Mr. Paxton and my brain feels slightly less ready to burst. Going to go over to his house tomorrow and put some stuff to film with him. If the result isn't just the embarrassing result of a bunch of stupid kids being 'wacky' I'll be sure to put a link here.

Went and saw Superman Returns with Harrison. It was good, honestly not as good as I had hoped. The trailer made it sound absolutely awe-inspiring. It was kind of boring, really. The action was uneventful, though action very seldom does anything for me anyway and the more dramatic moments were mediocre. The one thing I expected that was no delivered was a sense of...greatness. I thought they'd finally gotten it right and made Alan Moore's Superman. Morrison's Superman. The one that is practically a Greek god. The one that is absolutely and utterly awe-inspiring in every way. The one that makes you want to be a better person just be reading about his fictional exploits. The good part of every single man, compressed into one. And I didn't get that. I thought I would. The teaser made it look like that was what they were aiming for, but alas. It was a perfectly 'fine' movie. Shave half an hour off it's running time and I'd call it good.

You get a linup of dudes pissing into empties, you call me.

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 08:39:39 GMT

City of Heroes seems to be just enough of a time sink for me. It's beautiful. I can actually make progress in the game and still have a life outside of it. It's as if it were designed with my life in mind, and that's a beautiful thing. Now I just need to catch up to Michael in level...5 levels isn't very easy at this point. Hrm.

Goon meet on Saturday! Woohoo! I'm really not sure what to expect. Michael and I are going to go to North Houston for a BBQ with a few other SA members, we'll probably visit Mandy while we're up there. Sounds like it'll be a really fun day. Kind of wish I could just skip the rest of this week and get there. I don't fore-see anything notable in the next few days. Perhaps if I started applying myself again things would seem less empty. I know they would, actually. Ugh.

But I'm brutalized by bass. Terrorized by treble.

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 07:18:09 GMT

It has been a long and uneventful while, I fear. The only thing inspiring this entry is that my internet is down. That seems to be what inspires half of the time I write, nowadays. It's crazy to think that my father pays for an internet service that goes down at least three times a day. It's not my business to tell him what to do with his money, but for the same price we could be getting a decent service. It's not like they were kind enough to include a shitty-discount.

On Thursday night, while playing guitar at church, I was possessed by the spirit of rock. One of those experiences that you hear rock stars talking about in interviews. When you read them, you think to yourself that if it's not entirely fabricated, it at the very least is far from the truth. I can personally say, what they describe is pretty close. It was one moment in particular, I honestly can't recall much about the moment. I remember, the tension of the song was building and building. As the tension was building, my fill-ins and leads grew louder and faster. By the time the crescendo was reached, I looked down at my fingers, flying across the fretboard as if the strings were thousands of degrees. Bends effortlessly and seamlessly melding together with hammer-ons, pull-offs, slurs and all that other crap. It seemed to me at least that every note I was hitting was composed entirely of Unicorns and Rainbows. Chopped in half, drenched in blood, while Vikings who's beards are dripping with mead scream at the top of their lungs and take multiple women to their beds at once. Good feeling. I hope to have it again sometime, you know?

As I was driving home from dropping Harrison off at his house about half an hour ago, I had a life soundtrack moment. One of those times where whatever you're listening to seems to meld absolutely perfectly with what's going on around you. Try listening to Your Song by Elton John when you're sitting next to a swimming pool at a family reunion that all the kids from your extended family are playing in. That's a life soundtrack moment. This one was to blame on Angels In Your Angles by The Decemberists and the absolute beauty of a secluded city street at 1:45 AM as lightning gently plays on the canvas of the night sky. I had never thought of the song as particularly moving, beautiful or anything else really. It just seemed kind of...there, before now. Seeing the way it mixed with the dim lights of the street lamps was really something though. I wish I had more life soundtrack moments. They're such an incredible feeling...

Tomorrow, I am supposed to begin my life again. For the past week or two, I've been too uninspired to do anything. Or really care about that. It's not depression because I feel great, it's just a lack of desire to do anything. Tomorrow I intend to intentionally awaken whatever it is in me that makes me desire to do things. When I don't have a goal, everything seems so pointless. A temporary goal can at least make permanent reason seem viable, for some reason. So, yeah. Tomorrow, I get to work. I still haven't called CompUSA. I'm not sure why. A mix of a lack of desire to do things with a fear of what will happen to me if I do get a job. I've never liked what I've seen from the people I know that have gotten them. I tell myself I won't get addicted to the money, I won't live the rest of my life doing that, that I'll quit as soon as I have the money for Europe and some music stuff, but I really don't know. I imagine everyone else thought that too.

What will the hipsters be remembered for?

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 06:48:26 GMT

Well, my exile from Michael's house was short-lived. I'm now allowed to hang out over there. He just can't leave. That would suck, but frankly I'm just relieved that I can go over there. Funny how all it takes for something to feel rewarding is for it to be less punishment.

Went to LFO tonight. I didn't really want to very much, but it was Jake and Joe's last night, so I figured I might as well. Wasn't too bad, really. I got some free cake, convinced someone to buy me a water, talked with Jacob a little bit...all that.

Nothing eventful, so I suppose I'll just ramble.

Things aren't looking bright for that job at CompUSA. I guess I need to get Joe to check again. I would normally assume the lack of contact is a 'no', but last time Joe mentioned it, they said they'd probably call me within the week and set up an interview. He also said they were in the middle of being audited I believe it was, so things are kind of hectic. Blargh, just gonna give Joe a ring tomorrow and see what's up.

I feel like I've accomplished something that I should record here, but I really can't for the life of me remember what it is. I've definitely got that light feeling in my chest that normally comes with accomplishment. Hm.

Blur continues to get better and better to my ears. The amount of music I have to get acquainted with for Austin City Limits Festival in September is truly staggering. Especially with the constant desire to listen to, you know, music that I enjoy more. And I've gotta pick up some Ted Leo, which will cost money. I haven't bought a CD in years.

I need a Something Awful account, bad. I made two MSPaints for the Draw Song Lyrics thread. I'm gonna post them up here since I can't do it there, yet.

The first one is a Blur song, the second one is an Elvis Costello song. Of the two or three people that read this, I can't possibly imagine that someone will be able to guess them, but whatever. This is why I need a Something Awful account. Then I've got 70,000 people that could possibly know them.

The gate to the park was left open when I drove by it earlier. I think I'm going to go take a walk.

I believe if we set our minds to it, we can create a pleasing approximation.

Tue, 30 May 2006 07:27:34 GMT

Sweet baby Moses in a wicker basket floating down the Nile, my head is killing me. I believe I'm finally getting that caffeine withdrawal from the four cans of Cream Soda, two cans of Vanilla Big Red and one can of XXL Monster which is roughly 2.5 times the size of a regular Monster. All in one night. I knew this was a bad idea, as the Monster alone had previously given me a withdrawal headache. What can I say? I'm the kind of person that'll have fun now a the cost of future pain. All that caffeine did enable me to stay up until 8:00 AM at a party at a friend's house without being at all tired, so I guess I can't really complain, it was a hell of a night.

I suppose I'll detail the events of the weekend! The fun began on Wednesday evening. My family has rented a beach house in Galveston from then until 10:30 AM Sunday. This is plenty of time to rawwwwk at the beach. Too much, even. So, I decided that I would stay at home and hang out with various friends until Friday, where I would depart to the beach house. The reasoning for this particular time? My friend, Jacob, had a party planned for Thursday and I had no intentions of missing it. I always have a great time when he has those, though it was only the third. Or was it the second? He has another one coming up this Friday. Anyways, I hung out with Michael on Wednesday night, stayed at his house. On Thursday, we discovered that we were not to head to Jacob's house until 10:00, I believe it was. For various reasons including a pushing back of when we should arrive, we did not make it until roughly midnight. Before that, Michael and I hung out at Bobby's house all day, which was fun. Played some guitar, they've got a drum set over there, so that's a recipe for fun.

Arriving at Jacob's house, it initially looked grim. Jacob was tired already! Unacceptable! Fortunately, our gifts of twelve packs of both Cream Soda and Big Red Vanilla brought him to his senses, and the four of us had an incredible evening. It's been a long time since I've enjoyed video games, but when you've got the right people, a healthy combination of Mean Bean Machine, Wario Ware and Smash Bros. Melee is absolutely and utterly perfect. I don't remember many of the details for the evening, but the crushing realization that it was 7:20 AM when we opened the blinds and the light came shining through is pretty vivid. We immediately decided to head to Whataburger for some Breakfasts on a Buns, though I can't recall who paid. Probably Bobby. We cajole him into buying us alot of stuff. Afterwards, heading back to Jacob's house and crashed. We helluva crashed. A good three or four hours of sleep ensued, and I felt great all day. Only now am I feeling the repercussions of the evening.

Friday morning shortly after waking up, I head to my house to pack some things for the beach house. Print out some directions, am completely convinced that I am forgetting something...typical stuff. I arrive at the house without incident, the drive was great. Hot summer day with the windows rolled down, listening through some album or another, admiring the beauty of the beach on my left hand side. Initially, the beach house is not terribly entertaining, but the simple virtue of it being a beach house seemed enough. The fun quickly grew however, as Harrison had invented something of a game with my sister a few nights previous. The name of the game was crab hunting.

Crab hunting is not at all what you imagine when you think about those words. Chicken legs tied on the ends of strings? That's for pussies. All we had were two flashlights, a bucket and a very, very, very small net one holds with their hands, which was ultimately useless. The way it is played is really very simple. Man against crab. Mano-a-mano. (That is the term, isn't it?) The crabs came out on the beach whenever it became pitch black, making the flash lights a necessity. I have no idea how the game was created since I wasn't there at the point of its origin, but the techniques of capturing crabs with only some flashlights and your hands became very specific very quickly. When you spot a crab, use your available people to surround it on all sides. It will run. It will run like hell. It'll run right over your shoe if you let it. This made those of us in flip-flops particularly nervous. After awhile, it seems that the crab will realize that capture is inevitable and accept its fate. For the most part, at least. You did have to be quick to grab it. You can stun it with the flashlight, it seems, by simply putting the beam directly in front of the crab. When the flashlight was close, they mostly seemed to just stop. I suppose it hindered their sight. In any case, this is where the hard part begins. You have one person stunning the crab with the beam of light, then another person who will pin the crab down using only their thumb, and yet another person holding the bucket next to the previous person so that the crab can easily be tossed into the bucket with minimal chance of being pinched. I'll tell you, that one moment where you lift the crab off the ground to quickly toss him in the bucket is horrible. Its legs and claws all wriggling around, feeling them whipping against your vulnerable fingers with the fury of a thousand stormy seas...I came away being the only person in the group who got pinched. It bled quite a bit. It could've been avoided, but I got cocky and kinda just forgot that they could do that and held it for too long. It was straight in the bucket after that.

I've got a hell of a dichotomy right now. My head is killing me, I'm incredibly tired and so hungry I could eat an ox. But something in me feels very...conscious. It's as if my mind is firing on a few more cylinders than normal. Or maybe it's just amazement that I can even form a coherent sentence in the condition I'm in now.